The two Mass Effect 2 memes that hit home the most for me
Kingdom Hearts - The Short and Honest Version - Chapter 1
The story begins with Haley Joel Osment (aka SORA) thinking out loud.
SORA: I've been having these weird thoughts lately. Like, is any of this real, or not? How did it come to this? I almost won an Oscar before I started high school, how did I end up doing voice acting?
Utada Hikaru is introduced to the United States via crappy techno remix. We are then treated to some unskipable cut scenes for the next 30-40 hours.
After SORA falls a lot, a voice gives him vague tips, and he fights some monsters, including a freaking huge shadow thing.
SORA: Wait, is this supposed to represent my dark side? It's fucking huge! Was I Hitler in a past life or something?
SORA kills the monster by whacking its hands and face with a large key. This is painfully easy.
Eventually, SORA wakes up on an island consisting of himself, his friends, and Final Fantasy characters who have no impact on the plot.
SORA meets KAIRI, as well as RIKU'S MASSIVE BICEPS
KAIRI: SORA, wake up. We need to finish the raft.
SORA: You mean the piece of wood with a sail?
KAIRI: Yeah.
SORA: With no protection from UV rays, and has no medical equipment of any kind?
KAIRI: The Same.
SORA: Which we're stocking with barely enough food and water to support one person for a few days, let alone three people on a probably lengthy voyage?
KAIRI: Yup.
SORA: With less than preferable space to provide comfort for us, which, by day two will do little to help the unbearable stench caused by our unwashed, filthy bodies?
KAIRI: Uh-huh.
SORA: LET'S DO IT.
Idea #3 - Life the RPG
You start off for the first few years pooing in your underwear, shoving crayons up your nose, acquiring a sense of what makes you ill when you eat it. 5 years in and you start to understand what the funny squiggly stuff all over the UI is, and that it actually makes some sense when you discover the secret code. 10 years in and you’ve realised that this game actually sucks, but you’ve spent too much time already on it to give up now. You decide to rebel against all the rules, yeah that’ll show ‘em! 20 years in and you realise that you should’ve read the manual that came with the game, instead of installing all those hacks and mods which make the game more fun. 30 years and you realise that everyone in this game is cheating and it really isn’t fair at all. You decide to play Unreal Tournament for a few years. You continue playing Unreal Tournament until your 40th, when you suddenly realise that it would be cool to escape into this fantasy reality as the other game sucks so much. You install some extreme mods and you discover your spiritual side, you decide that you are god and creator of worlds, and begin the path to spiritual enlightenment by creating stupid environments with unrealistic hoverboards, jump pads and ridiculously large weaponry. You forget entirely about “Life-The RPG” as your having way too much fun to bother with that crap anymore…
…the rest is in the future.
Concept art is outside your window. 3d models are included.
